(My wife wrote the following on this, the fifth year anniversary of our oldest son, Ian's death.)
I want to remember gratitude.
On the 5 year anniversary of Ian's body dying I want to remember gratitude.
Pain comes at will. It sneaks up and gut-punches you at the most random and often inconvenient moments.
Gratitude takes some effort.
5 years ago was overwhelming. Overwhelming pain, certainly, but also overwhelming gratitude.
We discovered how firm a foundation our God is, We discover how merciful and gracious He is. He did so much for us before, during, and after Ian's death that I am in awe of His goodness.
People say that during difficult times we should lean into God, Some times you don't have it in you to even lean. We didn't need to. God leaned into us. He was already there, where and when we needed Him.
There are two meanings to the biblical name for God, "I am". One is "the self-existing one" (not created or dependent on anyone), the other is "the present one". We discovered the presence of God. He is present always. He is good, kind, gracious, and merciful.
He loves us so deeply it is overwhelming....and gratitude squeezes out.
I want to remember gratitude.